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Monday 29 October 2007
Friday 12 October 2007
FLYING MAN!!!
It was a long day in office and if I belived in the butterfly effect it was all worth it. Kind of. On arriving to the classical music zone, kensal green, I saw the train to wembley fast approaching. Skipping down the stairs like julian clairy with a new tv deal I jumped on board and read one of the great brainwashing rags that the media leave on trains for us drones to read.
The journey was quick and somewhat painless and I arrived at my destination. Wembley central. If you've never been you should definetly visit the place. The place is.... Lovley. In another strange twist of fate, I decied to walk out of the station a different way from usual as all the bus stops have been decomissioned due to road works. Obviously, wembley central needs to improve its look after the resurection of the stadium of stadiums.
Whilst walking to my new and improved bus stop with four times the people the funniest/most awful thing happened. Now I don't take much notice of what happens in front of me. I have a bad habit of not keeping eye contact with people and my head turns to look at things a lot. Guess it must be a nervous twitch or something. Now as I walking past the golden arches of wembley central (ive never eaten there, I promise) I hear the familiar sound of a car hitting something, (i live on the edgware road, car crashes are normal to me). But to my shock, as I turned round on the sound of the impact I saw a man in close proximity to the car. By close proximity I mean his legs were almost in the roof of the car and his head was taking a good look at the badge. Now when I first saw this I had to look away and close my eyes. I didn't want the dude to be hurt but this is where it got weird!
After the guy got hit, he jumped straight to his feet and ran acros the road like nothing happened! The world stopped at this point. Everyone was asking him if he was okay and he just stood there dazed and stumbling around. The driver got out of his car and inspected the front, enquired if the guy was okay and drove off. Everyone stood in shock and the 'victim' regained his composure and the world just started all over again.
I finally saw what dane cook was talking about.
This time, this dude didn't kick his shoes off in a fit of joy!
The journey was quick and somewhat painless and I arrived at my destination. Wembley central. If you've never been you should definetly visit the place. The place is.... Lovley. In another strange twist of fate, I decied to walk out of the station a different way from usual as all the bus stops have been decomissioned due to road works. Obviously, wembley central needs to improve its look after the resurection of the stadium of stadiums.
Whilst walking to my new and improved bus stop with four times the people the funniest/most awful thing happened. Now I don't take much notice of what happens in front of me. I have a bad habit of not keeping eye contact with people and my head turns to look at things a lot. Guess it must be a nervous twitch or something. Now as I walking past the golden arches of wembley central (ive never eaten there, I promise) I hear the familiar sound of a car hitting something, (i live on the edgware road, car crashes are normal to me). But to my shock, as I turned round on the sound of the impact I saw a man in close proximity to the car. By close proximity I mean his legs were almost in the roof of the car and his head was taking a good look at the badge. Now when I first saw this I had to look away and close my eyes. I didn't want the dude to be hurt but this is where it got weird!
After the guy got hit, he jumped straight to his feet and ran acros the road like nothing happened! The world stopped at this point. Everyone was asking him if he was okay and he just stood there dazed and stumbling around. The driver got out of his car and inspected the front, enquired if the guy was okay and drove off. Everyone stood in shock and the 'victim' regained his composure and the world just started all over again.
I finally saw what dane cook was talking about.
This time, this dude didn't kick his shoes off in a fit of joy!
Crime Stoppers
Sitting in my room I hear a repetive banging coming from outside. This for me is normal, I thought it would be kids taking out the bus stop or the phone box. This evening it was the latter. The banging started to annoy me so I stood to my window to see a lone man inside the phone box. This is already strange as no one needs to use phone boxes these days. Whilst watching him, I see him pull a large 'thing' from his rucksack (he was prepared!) and bang the money collector of the phone box. At 1st I praised his inciative, but then its not 1980 and this is a residential area.
After more banging, I spoke to my brother who was also not pleased at this young vagabond not making about £5 from the phonebox. I instantly thought about throwing eggs at the young fool. My brother was in full agreement. I went to the kitchen and collected 4 old eggs from the fridge and walked outside for a safe launch site. My brother was staying in to gauge reactions. My first vantage point allowed me to see him but I was balancing on a railing and the distance was too great. I wasted 2 eggs from this spot. I was running home when I got brave and decided to get as close as possible.
I ran around the front of my estate, this area was completely exposed and the shots had to be good. I kept close to the building, staying low millitary style and kept my eye on the prize. As I got to a close but safe distance, I unleashed my volley of eggs. The first making direct contact with the phone box and the second just short. The second egg covered the assailants legs in 1 month old eggs! By this time I was running back to my flat to get the feedback from my mum and brother who were watching.
We all stood in the front room watching the worlds worst criminal walk away rubbing down his legs which had a nice covering of egg on them!
Ray 1 - criminals 0
Sunday football write up - Victoria FC 1-12 Logica
The new Supremi might be thinking that this managerial malarkey is a bit of a doddle. In their first match at the helm, they bagged their first piece of silverware in the shape of the Victoria Challenge Cup as their new charges, clearly keen to impress, banged in a dozen goals at the Battersea Astrodome. Indeed, such was their confidence that only one Supremo was deemed necessary, Mad Dog barking out the orders whilst Preston lazed on a French beach.
There was, however, plenty of evidence that the new regime have been busy over the summer devising some sophisticated tactical strategems, as well as thinking carefully about ways to best motivate various individuals. Mad Dog carefully unveiled a new a diamond-shaped midfield formation, with Scaramanga providing its defensive base and Abbott its creative spear-head in the much sought after hole-role.
The gaffer must have worried about the effect of such innovation on luddite mentalities, and initially a spattering of toys were quickly ejected from the capacious pram of Reevaldo, undisputed king of the hole under the previous regime, but now moved sideways to the right wing. But the new Supremi would appear to have that psychological insight possessed of all the great gaffers: instead of flouncing on the flanks, the ex-hole merchant played like a man with something to prove, and lashed home no fewer than five goals.
The new dynasty had also drafted in some new blood, with both Nick Alexandrou and Ray Peakes impressing mightily. Alexandrou initially provided the fourth point of the new rhomboidal midfield, immediately showing great pace, skill and an eye for a quick pass. Peakes was quickly into the fray under the rolling substitutions rule, playing first on the left and later up front. Like his fellow debutante, he had skill in abundance allied with a steady composure and good vision, and both players caused a constant threat to the Victorian rearguard. The only bad news was that both players already play on a Saturday, although there is some hope that they might be available for selection when they have no match the previous day.
The most urgent issue to be addressed by Sapwell and Preston is the lack of goals. Logica have averaged significantly less than two goals per game over each of the last four seasons, and they must turn periods of dominance into goals if they are to escape the mire of mid-table mediocrity. With a limited transfer budget, the Supremi aim to improve Logica's strike rate with a change of style, and summer training sessions have been geared towards evolving a possession-based approach, with the diamond-shaped midfield aimed at increasing the number of chances created.
Twelve goals then will have been a reasonably satisfactory return from this first trial, although it will have escaped nobody's notice that eleven goals were bagged in the equivalent curtain-raiser last season. Victoria were rumoured to have strengthened their squad in the intervening year, and indeed had a number of strong performers - most notably the big number five in the centre of the park, and a dangerous and nippy striker. But much of their good work was undone by some basic errors, exemplified by the opening goal inside three minutes. An incisive build-up freed Alexandrou down the left, but his cross seemed a safe catch for the Victorian keeper. Under no pressure, though, the ball was spilled to the feet of Reevaldo who gratefully poked home.
Logica dominated possession, and some snappy passing soon had them three up. Alexandrou slid in a perfect low cross behind the opposing back four which Banoub was on hand to convert, before Reevaldo fired home at the near post after a clear run on goal. Hoyzone was soon in on the act, finishing off another sharp build-up clinically from 12 yards. Noobs crashed home his second off the underside of the bar, before setting up his strike partner with a peach of a far post cross that Hoyzone greedily gobbled up. As the first half drew to a close, Logica continued their ruthless goal-trail of destruction, as Reevaldo first completed his hat-trick, shooting across the keeper, and then added an eighth goal.
Victoria rang the changes at the interval, and caused far more problems in the second half. Despite being urged to push on for more goals, Logica were denied space and struggled to create many chances. In contrast, Victoria posed more of a threat and World Cup winners Fazel and Sutton were called upon to make a number of timely interventions. But the hosts finally got their just reward when their impressive central midfielder elegantly converted a low corner to reduce the arrears to just seven.
Sapwell moved quickly to try and re-invigorate his charges, moving Abbott and Peakes up front, withdrawing Hoyland to the left flank, and squeezing Banoub into the hole. The switch had the desired impact, as Abbott latched onto a goal-kick whilst the Victorian defence dozed, and cantered away to slot past the keeper. The veteran striker soon added his second, deftly controlling a Hoyzone header, and turning to curl a precise shot into the top right corner from 20 yards. And Peakes finally had some tangible reward for a fine display, as he once more chased down possession on the left, broke clear with the ball, and fired home a low shot that the keeper might have done better with.
The best of all was saved to last. It was Peakes again breaking away down the left wing before unselfishly looking up and rolling a pass across the edge of the box to the unmarked Reevaldo. The former hole merchant took one touch before dispatching the most exquisite of lobs over a helpless keeper and into the far corner of the net. There will surely be sterner tests ahead for new Logica, but with another month to hone their new style and improve their fitness, Sapwell and Preston will be confident that the team will hit the new season running on 09 September.
Video highlights package:
(1) Reevaldo bundles home one of his five goals.
(2) Scaramanga heads against the post.
(3) Banoub is denied by a finger-tip save onto the bar.
(4) Peakes fires home after Alexandrou is denied.
(5) Hoyzone fires inches too high after a neat Peakes back-heel.
(6) Banoub is foiled once more by the keeper.
(7) Reevaldo completes the scoring with the perfect lob.
There was, however, plenty of evidence that the new regime have been busy over the summer devising some sophisticated tactical strategems, as well as thinking carefully about ways to best motivate various individuals. Mad Dog carefully unveiled a new a diamond-shaped midfield formation, with Scaramanga providing its defensive base and Abbott its creative spear-head in the much sought after hole-role.
The gaffer must have worried about the effect of such innovation on luddite mentalities, and initially a spattering of toys were quickly ejected from the capacious pram of Reevaldo, undisputed king of the hole under the previous regime, but now moved sideways to the right wing. But the new Supremi would appear to have that psychological insight possessed of all the great gaffers: instead of flouncing on the flanks, the ex-hole merchant played like a man with something to prove, and lashed home no fewer than five goals.
The new dynasty had also drafted in some new blood, with both Nick Alexandrou and Ray Peakes impressing mightily. Alexandrou initially provided the fourth point of the new rhomboidal midfield, immediately showing great pace, skill and an eye for a quick pass. Peakes was quickly into the fray under the rolling substitutions rule, playing first on the left and later up front. Like his fellow debutante, he had skill in abundance allied with a steady composure and good vision, and both players caused a constant threat to the Victorian rearguard. The only bad news was that both players already play on a Saturday, although there is some hope that they might be available for selection when they have no match the previous day.
The most urgent issue to be addressed by Sapwell and Preston is the lack of goals. Logica have averaged significantly less than two goals per game over each of the last four seasons, and they must turn periods of dominance into goals if they are to escape the mire of mid-table mediocrity. With a limited transfer budget, the Supremi aim to improve Logica's strike rate with a change of style, and summer training sessions have been geared towards evolving a possession-based approach, with the diamond-shaped midfield aimed at increasing the number of chances created.
Twelve goals then will have been a reasonably satisfactory return from this first trial, although it will have escaped nobody's notice that eleven goals were bagged in the equivalent curtain-raiser last season. Victoria were rumoured to have strengthened their squad in the intervening year, and indeed had a number of strong performers - most notably the big number five in the centre of the park, and a dangerous and nippy striker. But much of their good work was undone by some basic errors, exemplified by the opening goal inside three minutes. An incisive build-up freed Alexandrou down the left, but his cross seemed a safe catch for the Victorian keeper. Under no pressure, though, the ball was spilled to the feet of Reevaldo who gratefully poked home.
Logica dominated possession, and some snappy passing soon had them three up. Alexandrou slid in a perfect low cross behind the opposing back four which Banoub was on hand to convert, before Reevaldo fired home at the near post after a clear run on goal. Hoyzone was soon in on the act, finishing off another sharp build-up clinically from 12 yards. Noobs crashed home his second off the underside of the bar, before setting up his strike partner with a peach of a far post cross that Hoyzone greedily gobbled up. As the first half drew to a close, Logica continued their ruthless goal-trail of destruction, as Reevaldo first completed his hat-trick, shooting across the keeper, and then added an eighth goal.
Victoria rang the changes at the interval, and caused far more problems in the second half. Despite being urged to push on for more goals, Logica were denied space and struggled to create many chances. In contrast, Victoria posed more of a threat and World Cup winners Fazel and Sutton were called upon to make a number of timely interventions. But the hosts finally got their just reward when their impressive central midfielder elegantly converted a low corner to reduce the arrears to just seven.
Sapwell moved quickly to try and re-invigorate his charges, moving Abbott and Peakes up front, withdrawing Hoyland to the left flank, and squeezing Banoub into the hole. The switch had the desired impact, as Abbott latched onto a goal-kick whilst the Victorian defence dozed, and cantered away to slot past the keeper. The veteran striker soon added his second, deftly controlling a Hoyzone header, and turning to curl a precise shot into the top right corner from 20 yards. And Peakes finally had some tangible reward for a fine display, as he once more chased down possession on the left, broke clear with the ball, and fired home a low shot that the keeper might have done better with.
The best of all was saved to last. It was Peakes again breaking away down the left wing before unselfishly looking up and rolling a pass across the edge of the box to the unmarked Reevaldo. The former hole merchant took one touch before dispatching the most exquisite of lobs over a helpless keeper and into the far corner of the net. There will surely be sterner tests ahead for new Logica, but with another month to hone their new style and improve their fitness, Sapwell and Preston will be confident that the team will hit the new season running on 09 September.
Video highlights package:
(1) Reevaldo bundles home one of his five goals.
(2) Scaramanga heads against the post.
(3) Banoub is denied by a finger-tip save onto the bar.
(4) Peakes fires home after Alexandrou is denied.
(5) Hoyzone fires inches too high after a neat Peakes back-heel.
(6) Banoub is foiled once more by the keeper.
(7) Reevaldo completes the scoring with the perfect lob.
Sunday Football
Waking up at 7am is not something I normally enjoy but there was never a time in my adult life where I overslept for my 90 minutes of football on a sunday. I am currently traveling to battersea to play football as a ringer for a team I was invited down to by Nick A. This morning when I heard the alarm going off I knew today would remind me of all the other mornings I used to wake up, sometimes not in the best of shape from the previous evening. Being the only one awake in the house and having that same christmas morning feeling as you felt like the only person awake. Sunday mornings always used to be so dead when I was younger and I hated them. Everything was shut and the tv was always dead out. Walking to the station or going to meet my mates for sunday footballl still has that feeling in the air. Only I notice a few different things. Shops stocking up for the days trade, the sick outside the local pub where someone had too much to drink and the same guys in the café getting their food. Todays game will be intresting. As I'm a ringer no one knows how good, or bad I am. So today I will start as a sub more than likely. Just like when I was a boy with my huge afro and the only people I could play football with were 5-10 years older than me. I've never had to talk up my game, I love footballl because it isn't a team game. The whole game can be controlled by one person. It can be dominated by your energy levels, your aggression, your skill and how much YOU want to bring others in. So today, I will leave people with the image of me flying past them. I make defenders travel in time. Timeeeee portalssss.
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